grandma shit on top of the toilet
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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