I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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