When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
