No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
