We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We left the knife in your bed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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