question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
