Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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