Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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