1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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