U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
