dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize