I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
