Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
