Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
