is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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