Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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