you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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