Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
