I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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