he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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