I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
