You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
