Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We have started to decorate penises.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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