I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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