I hate all girls vehemently.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
