i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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