He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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