she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
