The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
