Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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