Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
