when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
