All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
