She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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