Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
