it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
