well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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