Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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