if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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