Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
