Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
