The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
