He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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