In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
