U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
