Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
