hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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