Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
