i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
