I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
try to milk me bitch
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