just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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