for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
