haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
