we're blogging at a bar
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
