Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
