just come out here and I will go home with you...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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