yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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