I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
